The boss bitch era is over and women everywhere are embracing the softness of traditional femininity. Slow mornings, focus on self care, forgoing work to stay home and garden. Hustle culture is starting to lose it's appeal, but when you're broke it's harder to embrace this kind of lifestyle, especially when we see it presented in a very expensive way. Nothing hurts worse than scrolling through your social media feed and seeing everyone living a life of absolute comfort and ease when you're struggling to pay your rent or put food on the table. You can't afford to be soft when you're fighting for survival or living paycheck to paycheck. Or can you?
Well, yes and no. Of course when you're in survival mode you're going to be working your ass off on some girl boss shit. You're probably gonna be burnt out. You're probably gonna roll your eyes at every self care tip out there cause you can't afford it- whether that's money or time you're spending. But I promise you there's hope for all you broke babes. You too can tap into your Venusian self and embody your soft girl life and I'm gonna tell you how. You're just gonna have to improvise a little. Or a lot. "Poor" and "broke" exist on a spectrum and everyone is gonna experience financial scarcity or hardship differently. As you read on, apply whatever fits your situation best.
FIND THE FREE SHIT.
Girl, it exists. When I was a broke bitch and starting my self care journey I couldn't afford things like sound healing circles or retreats or organic bath and beauty products. I could afford googling free events in my area though. I could afford YouTube yoga classes and guided meditations. I could afford receiving gifts from friends and family and getting nature time at local parks. Library computers were there to help when I didn't have a laptop or phone or internet (speaking of libraries, you can find tons of soft girl resources in books!). I remember very vividly going to a free self care circle with a friend of mine and being able to enjoy an evening of community, healing, and charcuterie treats without spending anything. Those resources do exist and you are worthy of attending them. Sometimes you have to search hard and there won't always be events happening in your area, but they exist and they're usually accessible. There are also a ton of free events online! All you need is internet access and an email.
FIND THE CHEAP SHIT.
Living softly doesn't have to be expensive. It's all about creating an atmosphere of comfort and slowness- which can be done on a budget. Check out thrift stores in wealthier neighborhoods for fancy but affordable home goods, clothes, and decor. You'd be amazed at what you can find. If getting around is a problem, many cities have cheap public transit options (fun fact about me: I relied on the city bus for the entirety of my 20s. I was 31 when I got my first car and at the time of this publication I'm 32!) Public transit can be scary depending on where you're at and what time of day it is, but it can also be luxurious. Using ride time to catch up on reading or podcasts is great. And what's better than not having to drive yourself? Bath and body care can be trickier on a budget if you're non-toxic or trying to avoid synthetic chemicals, which I highly recommend. Still, you can find some sweet deals if you look hard enough. I love NOW brand essential oils and body care ingredients to make my own stuff and you only need a few items to get started. One container of clay powder, a bottle of jojoba, and an ounce of your favorite essential oil will get you started very nicely. You can always check out the clearance section at your local hippie health food stores for great deals too! If you're not worried about organic or chemical free body care your local dollar store is another great resource. If the salon and spa experience is what you're craving you can even find those services at a discount. Check out massage, and aesthetics schools in your area. Sometimes they'll have student clinics that require students to work on volunteers to get practice hours.
GET EDUCATED.
You can be soft and still be committed to growth. If you don't already follow HerFirst100k or listen to The Financial Feminist podcast you need to start. TODAY. Systemic oppression is real but that doesn't mean you can't learn how to manage the money you do have and make it work for you. Tori Dunlap, HerFirs100K's founder, offers priceless financial advice and has loads of free resources to get you started. Her focus is on empowering marginalized groups- especially women- without the shame you get in the male-dominated world of personal finance.
SHIFT YOUR ROUTINE.
If you're a shift worker and have the flexibility a simple change in what time you go in or get off from work can make a difference. Not a morning person? See if you can start coming in later so you can wake up slower. More productive in the evening? Giving yourself free time later in the day might be better. If you can't change your schedule like that, for the love of Self at least change your work alarm sound to something that doesn't send your nervous system into dysregulation when it goes off. While we're on the subject of routines, it is an amazing thing to have a consistent one. Even if it's just 5 minutes of journaling every day or meditating at the same time, it's good to anchor yourself with a soft practice, even better if it's a cost-free one. You can always add things in as you have more time too. As long as it feels nourishing and you aren't pressuring yourself into it. You don't need more stress. I like to look at routines as rhythms rather than strict schedules. Some days I am able to flow into all of my tasks with ease and others I can only do one or two things on my list. But at the end of the month I've accomplished so much!
DEFINE YOUR VALUES.
This may actually be the most important piece of this puzzle. When we can clearly define what we value most, we know exactly where to spend what little time or money we may have. What parts of a soft life light you up most? Is it taking care of your body with loving exercise? Do you feel like a princess when you make time for a bubble bath? Do you want to be more creative? If you pick the top three things you value most about a soft life and commit yourself to them, you'll start to notice a huge difference. Even if you can only pick one, start there. You can always reevaluate as needed too! Your values will likely change many times over the seasons of your life and that's a beautiful thing so go with the flow.
DROP THE GUILT & SHAME STORIES.
Struggling financially comes with an entire landfill-worth of traumas, fears, and nasty baggage. Much of this has to do with how poor people are treated and viewed in our society. Over time we develop an "I'm not worthy" mindset and we feel guilt when we do get more, while feeling shame for wanting (and needing!) more. Guilt and shame around poverty can come from anything. Not having money for Christmas presents, wearing the same clothes you did the day before, being laughed at or ridiculed for any number of things. A big one is feeling out of place in certain settings where we think only people with lots of money belong. Let me tell you now: You have nothing to be ashamed of, you have nothing to be guilty for. When you are able to release these stories you can find more room for pleasure when it finds you. Now say it out loud: I AM WORTHY OF A SOFT LIFE NO MATTER HOW MUCH MONEY I HAVE.
You are so brave and so beautiful for showing up for yourself day after day in this crazy world. You can always keep moving forward and improving your life regardless of where you are today. Don't ever forget that! Embrace that Soft Girl Era with absolute abandon. You deserve it.
What are some of your favorite affordable Soft Girl lifestyle tips? Share in the comments below!
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